Greetings fur pals! This post is brought to you today from under the lounge, where I am hiding out to escape a soaking in the dreaded ‘big white tub.’

My sister Ruby seems to enjoy all the primping and pampering, but I’m not one for the excesses of it all, so hide I must, lest I be cornered and dragged into the laundry.

I’m pretty sure I’ve found myself a good spot. I’m right up in the corner, in a nice dark place. Now if only I could get rid of Ruby, who is out of the bath and trying to get under here with me. She’s a dead giveaway, because she’s leaving a trail of water right to my secret location.

Until next time… if there is a next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals and new year travellers! It was quite a year last year for me, and mum hasn’t let me post for a while due to illness. I’m hoping for an action-packed 2012 to make up for lack of action and interest in 2011.

I’ve managed to upset the neighbours already in the new year. Barking at anything that came my way, especially those pesky New Year fireworks that I couldn’t scare off no matter how much I barked at them.

We’ve had a lot of visitors and tourists over the Christmas break and I’ve barked at them all. Mum is threatening to put me in the ‘naughty dog’ room for a few hours to teach me a lesson, but it never happens.

Until next time.. do your best dog impression and stay safe…!

Greetings fellow fur-pals.  I’m back today and feeling fighting fit for the summer months ahead. I’m enjoying myself immensely and running up and down the beach whenever I can get the opportunity. It was only the other day I ‘escaped’ and went for a walk down to the local sandpit, ie, beach for humans. Miles of lovely stuff to dig in and bury my nose. Lots of great smells and, if I’m lucky, a bbq offering to pilfer an occasional sausage.

My adventure didn’t last long as Mum had a regiment out looking for me. I’m planning my next escape as we speak.

Until next time…

Greetings and salutations fur-pals. I’m here today with news of my latest escapades around the neighbourhood. Indeed I was really around the neighbourhood last week when I managed to slip out the side gate and notch up a couple of streets before I was spotted and chased home again. It was me against the world, fur-pals, and every other dog in the street as I strutted my stuff up the middle of the road and barked at anything that moved. That big brown fur-ball down the road had nothing on me, and as he was behind his fence, and I was on the other side, he was fair game. I said my piece and then said some more, until the demon dog almost jumped over the six foot railing in a fit of pique. Discretion is always the better part of valour, especially in this instance. There were plenty of other places to go anyway.  It’s a pity that the demon dog brought the whole neighbourhood out, or I would still be sniffing some delightful aromas down at the local park.

Until next time…

Hello fur-pals. Well, I’ve been main dog-about-the-house in recent times as I help mum after she has gotten out of hospital. I’ve been keeping my wet shiny nose pretty clean and I am on my best behaviour.

I’m taking my doggy responsibilities very seriously, and I make sure I am on the bed with mum at the first available opportunity to see if she is alright.  I’ve discovered that getting too excited about my duties and jumping all over mum isn’t met with the desired response, however.

I’m helping Dad with the food preparation and make sure everything tastes alright before it gets to Mum. This is the best job in town as far as I’m concerned, but it’s importance can’t be understated.

Can’t wait til we get to the point of walking around the block again, so I can get back to my seek and find missions once again though…

Until next time..

Greeting fellow fur-pals. I’m back today with commiserations for myself once again. I’m the best at feeling sorry for myself and have earned the name ‘sook’ from Mum and Dad..especially Dad. He thinks I should be more doggy-manly…but Mum spoils me so I play on this for my own benefit.

My trip to the vet was as traumatic as I could make it. I howled before I got on the table. I howled when I was on the table. I howled to be picked up after I got off the table. I howled on the way home to an anonymous person who was kind enough to offer me a pat. I’m good at howling. I’m also good at finding friendly faces and hands in a sea of people in various locations.

I’m still getting over it all. I got on the lounge when I got home and stayed there until the ding of the microwave dinner bell, and then I was the first in line, howling in hunger for all to hear.

I’m sure to be back to my feisty fit fur-ball self in no time.

Greetings fur-pals. I’m back again today with reports of nice days and sunlit waters off my beach this morning. I’ve been down to the beach for a dig and a splash, and I enjoyed myself immensely, although I didn’t enjoy the wash and dry when I arrived home. Why is bath-water and beach-water so different? Maybe because I can get into more trouble at the beach than I can in a big white tub. I managed to chase a few birds, corner a few crabs and upset a couple of picnicing pensioners, all in the space of five minutes.

I also managed to dig a hole large enough to hide in, ensuring a panic and a search and rescue mission was organised before I surfaced.

All in all, I would consider this a good day’s work.

Until next time.

Greetings fur-pals. I’m back this evening with news of my impending day out. I’m looking forward to being a guest at poppy’s place. I like it there because I can see everything that goes past, and nothing escapes my keen eye and steely determination. I can patrol up and down the perimeters to my hearts content and nobody minds at all. Poppy is a little deaf and so are most of the senior neighbours..all except one..who is..surprise, surprise…a veterinary clinic. Yes fur-pals….I’ve got it all going on…as many dogs as I can bark at in one day..coming and going, to and fro, in and out of the vets.

And I am there to make sure they don’t come on MY property. That’s right. While I’m here, nothing will cross the fence line. I love it here at Poppy’s place. My status is elevated to chief of property protection and patrol. And I’m not leaving until I have to.

Until next time…

Well it’s raining again..and raining, and raining. I’m going mad inside the house and have come up with a few ways to keep myself occupied:

• Annoy anyone who looks interested for a game of fetch. I have plenty of soft toys around the house and I can find ALL of them.
• Annoy my fur-ball sister Ruby when she is sleeping, which is most of the time.
• Annoy senior dog Dylan, who is staying with us right now. The grumpier he is, the more fun it is for me.
• Don’t annoy Mum or she will put me outside on the veranda. I have peed in the house one too many times in the last few days.
• Dig a good hidey hole under the blankets in the spare bedroom. It’s a good escape plan to have when I hear a loud voice. It might be me that’s in trouble.
• Hang around the kitchen between bouts of annoying everybody else. I might get lucky and find a tasty morsel on the floor that hasn’t been snaffled by my fat sister.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. It’s good to be here for another week to tell my ‘tails’ of non-stop action, excitement and drama. It has been a week of drama, I can tell you, as I was packed off to the groomers for a day of drowning in the ‘big white tub’… mangled by all sorts of cutting devices, and blown to smitherines by someone holding  black gun of wind hell all over my extremities. I can’t understand why I was left to suffer the indignities of it all, but I was sure glad to see Mum at the end of it all. I nearly ran through the glass door in an effort to escape my bondage – in a bid for freedom.

Needless to say by the time I got home I’d cried in the car and on the ferry on the way back to the island. This earned me a few points with some passing sympathisers, and a few extra pats were forthcoming for my troubles. I was out of action for the rest of the day while I recuperated from the whole sordid affair.  Even my extra special chicken and vegetable dinner was hard pressed to make up for the stress of it all.

Until next week…I’m sure I’ll be fighting fit once again….

Greetings fur-pals. I’ve just been out and about and up the street sniffing the smells and seeing the sights of the neighbourhood. I for one, am a bit miffed that I wasn’t told about the new dog down the road moving in and was caught off guard in a frenzy of barking and escaping to a safe vantage point. I was lucky to escape with my tail hairs intact and my ego in place.

I managed to get up quite a speed though, and redeemed myself in the next street when I chased a big ginger cat up a tree. Made personal note to myself to watch out for new dog and big spiteful cat on my next excursion.

Until next time…

Hello there fur-pals. It’s great to be here today. I’m enjoying the sunshine out in the front yard after my usual shenanigans buzzing around the place and annoying anything that moves.

As I’m a great fan of the ‘Bichon Buzz’..I’m likely to take off at any moment. I like to get into training for the great Bichon Buzz award that I just know I’m going to get one day. I do my best to run as fast as possible around the front yard at full pace for about ten minutes a day…this is enough to keep me trim and fighting fit for a standoff with that big dog down the road. If my daring plan of accost and bark fails…at least I will be able to outrun him.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m here once again with news of my daring neighbourhood escapades. I’ve managed to not only organise my perimeters this week, but the perimeters of the neighbours in the immediate vicinity and see off most of the feathered wildlife in the area. Mind you, I never seem to be able to catch anything, as I’m flat out getting a good vantage point high enough off the ground. I can’t fly in other words.

Doesn’t matter how fast you run fur-pals, if you’re not operating in stealth mode, then you aren’t going to catch anything but a bindi in your footpads. I tend to like the commotion approach myself. Mum says I’m making up for a lack of size and height. My quarry is long gone long before I make it into the vicinity of their whereabouts.

Still, I don’t mind. It’s the thrill of the chase. Haven’t quite worked out what I’d be doing with my prey once tackled anyways. I prefer my dinner cooked and served thanks. Til next time…

Hello fur-pals. Good to be here again. I’ve survived the weekend and everything is back to normal. I was on full alert when we had visitors and they brought their puppy with them. I wasn’t standing for any nonsense either, this was my turf and I was letting everybody know about it.

I don’t understand why I have to be gracious and a good host. I leave that to my humans. I’m here to make sure the perimeters are secure and everybody knows that I’m in charge of said perimeters.

It was hard work keeping the peace, I can tell you. The interloper just wanted to take over and get all the attention. It’s not on fur-pals, I can tell you. I had my shiny wet nose well and truly out of joint.

Mum is paying me a bit more attention today as there’s not a cute little black furry pat-thief in sight to steal my thunder.

Until next time…

Greetings once again fur-pals. I’ve been looking forward to talking about my recent adventures with the neighbour’s dog, a much bigger counterpart than I, and I have to say that I have lived up to my brave reputation. Mum calls me ‘braveheart’… which I hope is a compliment to my protective prowess, rather than my ‘attack and retreat very quickly to the nearest safe vantage point’ approach.

I’m feeling pretty pleased with myself for seeing off the boofy chocolate labrador down the road. Mum says I was lucky he was only a puppy and of happy disposition. I know better of course. I’m practicing my Alpha dog skills every day…and I know I’m ready for almost anything. Well, almost. I’m not too sure about that big white dog around the corner, so I wait until I’m at a safe vantage point before I let him have a piece of my mind…rather than a piece of me. Mum says I’m going to bite off more than I can chew one day..and she says I have ‘SDS’ syndrome. I’m pretty sure it means ‘serious dog stuff’..but I heard someone mentioned ‘short dog syndrome’ the other day…when they were talking about that silly maltese down the road. Now he IS full of it, that’s for sure.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m back today to let everybody know I organised an implemented a daring escape plan from the front yard a few days ago. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself as I roamed the neighbourhood and did what I pleased.

My only problem with being a free agent is there are no kitchens, hot dinners, and nice warm beds to lay on in the wild, so I when I was found by Mum, I was on my way home for dinner.  Don’t know why Mum got so worked up for, I could smell the chicken cooking from a block away and my tummy was rumbling.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. It’s good to be here once again for my usual bites and pieces. I’ve been having a ball the last few days. Mum took us on a holiday to another island and I was in my element, meeting and greeting – although I wasn’t too taken with the young pup that kept chasing me around trying to nip my nether-regions. Gave her the old one-two chase and scare tactic, which worked for me, but not for Mum who scolded me for picking on puppies. Not my fault I say! Not me doing the chasing, but must uphold my tough-doggy image and defend my boundaries, and those include my nether-regions.

Have to say I was glad to get home to my boss-dog position once again.

Until next time…

Greetings again fur-pals. Well not much to report this week, except that Mum’s had enough of my antics in the dirt and taken to keeping me indoors a lot more these days. I don’t mind too much at the moment because it’s really rather cold out there and I’m not too keen on braving the elements for extended periods of time. Fronting up on the rug positioned near the fire has become one of my favourite past-times of late.

I’ve heard on the grapevine that I’m visiting the doggy groomers sometime this week, so I’d best keep my wits about me and not get over excited when I hear the jingle of the car keys. It could mean more than just the weekday drive to the park….

Until next time…

Greetings once again fur-pals. Well, I’m out and about this week helping Mum forage for wood and pinecones for our new wood burner. I have to say that foraging has become quite an adventure for me and I’ve learned a few tricks to keep it interesting.

• Make sure you check under every piece of wood that you find. Snakes can very often be hiding  there. Bark as much as possible to alert everybody in the vicinity that you’re doing your job as health and safety advisor.
• Never try to grab said snake, but make a good show of bravado from a safe distance.
• Help to look for as many other things as you can find. This may involve wandering off. Try not to get lost and cause any distress for other family members.
• Protect your finds with gusto. If an errant bird wants a piece of your stash, let him know who the boss is.

Until next time….

Greetings once again fur-pals. I’m having a lovely time in the front yard today, as the new grass has been laid and I’m running amok. While it’s not as good as the mud puddle for stirring up the household, it’s jolly good for running at top speed without any tread damage. I’m having a field day running up and down the perimeters barking at anything that goes by.  Bonuses for me, as I’m harder to catch on the grass when I’ve done something wrong.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. Well, it’s good to be here again this week with news of the dirt pile in the front yard. It’s been a glorious time for me fur-pals, as I dart about, skidding, sliding, rolling and anything else I can think of in the dusty, dirty mess. Special bonuses if it rains and the dust becomes mud and sticks to my fur. Add points if I actually get inside and roll on the lovely multi-coloured rug that Mum bought last year.

I’m in hiding at this present moment however, as I can hear the splashings in the big white tub and the soft tones of bribery in the air to get me within grabbing distance of the danger zone.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m back today with news of my latest adventure. It was action all-round as I braved the wet weather and the mud in the front yard before the new turf goes in.

There’s lots of doings to do in a mud pile fur-pals, especially when you are on a limited time frame before Mum spots you messing about and getting messy. I managed a good dive, slide and a couple of rolls before my dobinski sister, Ruby, barked to let everybody know where I was and what I was doing. It’s like the gestapo, honestly.

I was once again packed off to the ‘big white tub’, for a scrub a dub-dub.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m coming to you today from the front veranda, where I’ve been exiled after a night of bad behaviour.  I’m glad at least it’s sunny and I’m not out in the wind and rain, which was the problem in the first place. Why should I go out in the rain and get myself soaked just to go to the toilet?  Humans do it inside so THEY don’t get wet, so why can’t I?

Unfortunately Mum doesn’t see it that way, so here I sit – alone and forlorn, while the house is cleaned and the carpets washed.

Perhaps they will take pity on my soul and let me in by dinner time…

Greetings fur pals. Well I’m back this week with news of my latest getaway. It was brilliant, if I do say so myself, although it requires a bit of practice to get the landing right.

All I can say in my defense is that I was in the car and I was bored. Mum stopped to put a letter in the letterbox and I was out of there. I bit the bullet and jumped from the window effortlessly, conquering my fear of heights in one fell swoop. I discovered soon after that it’s generally not the height that is feared, it’s the abrupt stop at the other end that poses the problem.

Needless to say I didn’t get far, as I was still recovering from the shock of the thud when Mum caught up with me…

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. Well I’m back to my usual self after a couple of days moping around the house missing my Mum. Mum was working overnight somewhere and I was miserable. I was so miserable I let everybody know about it..all night long. I’m really good at the long slow howl and the pacing whimper when it suits me. Dad threw a couple of pillows at me, but not to worry…. they were nice and comfy at 5am when I finally wore myself out.

Things finally righted themselves when Mum walked in the door and my world was bright again. Oh…the things I have to go through in my doggy life..

Until next time…

Helloooo fur-fans….I’m back once again this week….and oh..the shame of it all fur-fans…I’ve been shaved within an inch of my life and I’m almost ugly. If it weren’t for my beautiful eyes and my lovely disposition I would be truly loathsome.  It doesn’t do my ego or my social standing any good at all to be compared to a mexican hairless breed. No offense intended to my fur-fellows..but I’m a Bichon!…we have fur…and a lot of it. And that’s the way it is. The Bichon is a breed once kept in company with royalty fur-fans. We were styled, cut and primped….NOT shaved.

Oh the shame of it all. I shan’t be able to show my lovely face around town for weeks…

Greetings fur-pals….I’m back again this week feeling a tad cold after my recent shearing…sorry, haircut. Dad fancies himself as a top-notch doggy groomer, but I can tell you as a veteran of doggy-groomers….he’s not one of them.  As much as I dislike my regular sessions at the local doggy doo day centre…I feel and look a little bit better than I’m feeling right now. My ears are uneven and my puff is in the wheelie bin….and I’m no longer my cute and adorable self. How am I supposed to get out of trouble now?  A dog can only get by on so much good will, you know. You have to have more qualities than an engaging personality…you have to be able to back it up with the ‘awww’ syndrome..especially when you’re in the doghouse for the latest misdemeanour…

It’ll be weeks before I’m back to normal…

Greetings once again fur-pals…well I’ve been stuck indoors for two days now…and I’m bored. There’s only so much lounging around, sleeping and belly scratches a dog can accumulate before he wants to cut loose and smell the fresh air and dig a good hole.

I’m more than ready to explode with pent up energy and I can feel my paws moving in various directions in an effort to sooth my savage doggy-do-what-I-want dilemma.

I’ve recently discovered Mum’s stash of toilet rolls and managed to release one from it’s bondage all over the laundry floor. Fantastic fun! Hasn’t been discovered yet, so I better be on my guard for any sudden aggressive moves in my general direction. I have my eye on a stack of art pencils hanging over the workbench in the studio. If I can just jump high enough I might be able to overturn the lot. Honestly, you’d think they’d be left there deliberately to taunt me.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals.  I’m back today and looking forward to my afternoon walk around the neighbourhood. I’ve been behaving myself lately, except for the biscuit incident, but it wasn’t my fault that somebody left the goodies within easy reach on the corner of the table. As tempting as it is to be well behaved (not), it’s even more tempting to experience the taste sensations that only a human bickie will give me, and hang the consequences. My bickie stealing days are all but over, I think, as Mum is not stupid enough to leave anything out on ANY of the kitchen benches anymore, as my jumping prowess increases as I gain more confidence.

I guess it’s back to the kibble and dry food tempters in my own bowl in the future.

Until next time…

Howdy fellow fur-pals…well I’m back again today coming to you from grandpa’s place, where I have been spending the day while Mum goes shopping. I put up such a fuss sometimes when I’m left at home that I often get to go to grandpa’s place so I have some company. It’s amazing what a few sorrowful cries and sad eyes can do for me.

They’ve been doing a bit of building on the property behind grandpa’s place, and I’ve been having a great time barking at anything that moves.

My days may be numbered at grandpa’s however, as Mum has discovered that the new fence that backs onto grandpa’s place has much loose dirt along the bottom, and plenty of opportunity for a digging escape artist like me to exploit.  Future expeditions to grandpa’s place are dependent upon the securing of the back fence by logs or concrete.  Foiled again.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals, I’m back again this week feeling a tad frustrated at the lack of attention and activity in my neck of the woods.  Mum’s been busy with work and Dad’s away…and I’m feeling a bit left out of things.  I’ve tried my best to stay out of trouble, but you know what they say about idle minds….

I’ve managed to amuse myself with an old ornamental pillow I found on the front veranda. I made short work of it for sure, and the feathered stuffing offered even more time for front yard entertainment for all concerned – me.  I have to say, it looked like Christmas in New York by the time I’d finished. I may not have painted the town red, but I sure did colour the green grass white in two hours.

Suffice it to say I’m still not number one in the household, but at least I’m getting noticed again….

Until next time..

Greeting fellow fur-pals. Well it’s been a hot few days, and I’ve been coming up with some brilliant ideas to beat the heat on my doggy patch.

I’ve discovered that the fridge isn’t only for tasty nibblies when I can get hold of them, it’s also an amazing bit of cool space after you wedge your nose into the door seal and push it open. Unfortunately it doesn’t last for long before I’m either discovered or something starts dripping on me.  The cool tiled floor space in the bathroom was often a place where I could stretch out in comfort, until I started weeing on the toilet and I was banned. Well..that’s what it’s for, isn’t it? I’m just doing my bit.

I’ve managed to find the cool spots on the floor now where the airconditioning hits, and I’m staying put for the day.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals.  Well it’s been a long time between digs…in the front yard. I haven’t been able to tunnel a decent line under the fence since they put the logs in to stop my escape attempts. I have to invent new ways of amusing myself and annoying everybody else.

• Run as fast as I can up and down the fence and bark as often as possible at anything or anyone that passes the perimeters.
• Inspect as many things as possible laying around. This includes things that don’t belong to me. Extra points for leg-cocking on unfamiliar items to leave scent for easy finds later on.
• Jump up on every chair I can find. Sit up at the table and look expectantly (and longingly) at items that may be available for inspection and tasting.
• Learn to jump down again as nimbly and as quickly as possible to avoid possible ripple effects.
• Scratch those fleas, even if you’ve just been de-flead. You are a dog, this is your job.  Leg action is very important here…try to make contact with a hard surface for maximum audio effect.  Extra points if it’s after dark and family is asleep.
• Don’t wait for that alarm to go off in the morning. Get on that bed and greet the day!

Until next time….

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m back again after surviving the weekend with guests and not disgracing myself too much. It wasn’t my fault that the toasted cheese and tomato sandwich was left with easy reach. It tasted delicious, and I managed to down at least half of it before I was discovered with the cheese on my paws.

My advice for wannabe food thieves, is to pick your moment carefully, make sure you have enough time to achieve your goal, and get in fast. While eating as fast as you can is not a good thing for digestion, it doesn’t really matter when you are a hungry dog living in the moment. The taste buds can really appreciate the explosion of flavours on the hop, no matter how much the stomach may complain afterwards.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m on my best behaviour today to instal myself back into Mum’s good books after almost breaking the new lamp and demolishing a lounge cushion in one afternoon.

To be fair, my curly tail got wrapped around the cord of the lamp, and I was saved at the last minute by my quick-thinking Dad, who stopped the lot from falling on me. It could have been worse – I could have been killed by a large falling lamp, or I could have been killed by Mum after the large lamp fell on me. I was so grateful I had to do something to calm my nerves. The pillow on the lounge served as a good chew toy for quite some time before I was discovered.

Now I’m on the veranda again. At least I have bread and water to see me through…

Greetings fur-pals. I’ve had a lovely time the last few days running around and going for walks on the beach while the sun is shining. Yes..the sun is back and I’m out and about for a change, instead of hanging about inside and messing up Mum’s curtains and cushions. Mum is pleased that I’m outside for a change, and my general digging and barking is tolerated at even higher levels. I’m not sure that I will be getting away with waking up the neighbour at midnight for much longer however. It wasn’t my fault really. I thought I saw something worthy of my guard dog intentions slinking up the front path. They said it was just a leaf blowing in the wind, but I’m still not convinced.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’ve had a rough time the last couple of days and I’m hiding under the lounge more frequently than I would like. Mum is on the warpath and she is following me around with a spray bottle of foul smelling stuff to try and stop me from peeing on anything upright. I’m reluctant to go out in the rain and get my extremities wet – more like soaked fur-pals! It’s been raining so hard I’ve forgotten what colour the cloudless sky is. It’s blue isn’t it?

I’ve been coming up with some novel places to pee, and it works for me. Unfortunately it doesn’t work for the rest of the household. I’ve tried out the side of the washing machine, the side of the freezer, various curtains, and even once in dad’s shoes, which didn’t go down to well. There’s talk of taking me back to school for some retraining. I can’t understand what all the fuss is about personally. Once the rain is gone I’ll be back outside and everyone will forget about it. I hope.

Until next time…if I make it to next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m in the doghouse again today after peeing liberally on Mum’s new curtains. I couldn’t help myself. They were there, and that’s what I do. Mum threw out the old curtains because I peed on them. Curtains are like trees, they are upright. That’s all you need to know.

At present I am hanging out in the laundry, where there are no curtains and there is no way out. I’ve been chased around the house with dog repellent, sprayed with a water bottle, yelled at, and imprisoned. Do I give in? Never!!….not until tea time.

Until I escape from here fur-pals…later….

Greetings fur-pals. I’ve had a good day today. I’ve managed to annoy the next door neighbour’s dog more than once, without any recriminations as yet. I’ve discovered the most opportune time to bark my head off at him is when his owner is in the yard, as he’s not allowed to bark back, so I can get in a good razzing before Mum comes and makes me go inside. I’ve also managed to stir up the postie and the man that comes to mow the lawn. I’m not past barking at anything that moves and then running away if danger looks imminent. Hey, I’m a small dog with a lot to say, not a large dog that size speaks for itself. I have to make up for it anyway I can. I have to protect my turf and map out my plan of attack when need be.

My tip of the day today fur-pals is. Don’t let size get in your way, but remember to have a back up plan in place if your plans backfire. Mine is a little hole that get’s me underneath the house, but nobody else.

Until next time…

Greetings fine fur-pals. Well I made it through the Christmas celebrations, and I hope you did too. I was lucky enough to have a chicken dinner to share with the rellies, and I stayed out of trouble most of the time.

Everything was going well for me, and I was a firm favourite with my handsome looks and tail-wagging charm, until my curly tail got wrapped around the cord of grandpop’s favourite rotating optic fibre light. Don’t ask me how it happened, I just circled the thing a couple of times to have a look. One minute I was happily prancing around doing my doggy thing, the next I was running for my life along the hallway with a horrible rattling lightshow right behind me.

Grandpop is still not talking to me. Nanna is secretly pleased as she never liked the fibre optic lightshow anyway.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. Well, I’ve suffered the indignity of a spa bath, shampoo and blowdry, all for the benefit of the rellies when we go meeting and greeting on Christmas day. I can’t say I am too impressed smelling like that gay poodle down the road, but hey, it won’t take long for some front yard action to sooth my battered ego.

I’m just waiting for an opportunity to present itself so I can lunge at the lovely mud pool in the corner of the garden, but Mum is on her guard, as she knows what I’m up to, and she wants me to be nice and clean for grandpop’s house for the celebrations.

My tip for today is.. if you are looking a bit pooncy and its getting embarassing, make sure you survey your area for the nearest dirt-fest opportunity, then make a break for it at the last minute. It will be too late for them to do anything about it, and they will have to wear your dirty ass for the whole duration of the celebration.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m speaking to you from the back shed, where I’m hiding out after demolishing Mum’s favourite silk lounge cushion. I’ve found a nice little spot in the corner behind the paint tins, that hasn’t seen the light of day in a long time – and hopefully render me invisible for even longer.

I’m fighting hunger pangs at the moment fur-pals, and I can smell a delicious chicken dinner wafting from the back window. I’m sure Mum is doing it deliberately to flush me out of my hidey-hole so she can yell at me some more.

Tip of the day fur-pals, is to make sure you have a stash of provisions in your favourite out-of-the-way spot, so that you can bunker down for the long haul and stay clear of any repercusions that might occur because of your youthful exuberance.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’ve been out and about with Mum recently, walking on the beach and the surrounding scrubland, and enjoying myself immensely. I’m not sure if Mum enjoyed it as much as me though, when I spotted a frill-necked lizard and took off after it.

I was doing pretty well, and I finally cornered it in the local amenities. I was feeling very pleased with myself, but wasn’t sure what to do with it, now that I almost had it. Suddenly it puffed out it’s neck and ran at me, and it looked a LOT bigger and meaner – so I decided that discretion would be the better part of valour, and let Mum round me up and take me home.

Tip of the day – take a good look at what you are chasing before you commit. Make sure you are chasing something that is at least half your size with minimal bitey bits and claws, or you could be in for a BIG surprise. I managed to escape with  my pride intact, a story to tell, and zero carnage.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m here today chilling out in the air conditioning as weather heats up. I’m trying to keep my paws cool in the lead up to the holiday season, and I’m keeping a low profile to redeem myself so that I can take part in the family festivities. Not that I expect to be left out, but you never know  what might happen if Santa finds out I’ve been naughty and not nice.

I’m even planning on being nice to my rellies senior dog Dylan this year. I won’t jump on him more than once and try to hang ten off his back as he runs along. I won’t jump on the lambskin or try to hide my chicken morsel under a pillow for safe keeping. I won’t participate in patrolling the front fence to scare any poor unsuspecting pensioner that walks past. I won’t pee on the front veranda or on pop’s favourite pot plant. I won’t run under the table and pull the lampshade cord out and the presents down on top of me.

See…I’m learning already from last years mistakes. I REALLY promise to be good for as long as possible on Christmas day…really!

Have a fantastic Christmas fur-pals and a happy new year!!

Greetings fur-pals. Well, I’m having a lovely time today in the summer heat. I managed to escape out the gate and down the road for a quick roll on the sand and a paddle in the shallows. I was caught red-pawed as I tried to ‘borrow’ a tasty sausage just lying around on somebody’s plate at a local bar-b-que area. Mum eventually caught up  with me, and I’m doing time again on the front veranda, as the fence is being booby-trapped to avert another escape attempt.

My only tip of the day today is to grab opportunity when you can fur-pals, because you never know when the fun-police are going to catch up with you.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. Well, it’s December and Christmas is in the air, as the neighbours lavishly decorate their homes with lights that turn night to day and keep everybody awake until the wee hours of the morning.

I try to keep quiet, but it’s a bit hard to stay silent when the neighbourhood is alive with my yapping counterparts who insist on barking at everything that moves, or rather, is caught in the dazzling array of colours and flashing abundance of excessive waste of electricity.

For once, I’m hoping to find a quite spot under the veranda to catch a bit of shut-eye before tonight’s bark-fest under light spectacular.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. Well, I’m surviving the renovations without any major mishaps.. although I did get into the paint sampler yesterday and tried a spot of wall painting myself before I was busted. I managed to pump out my own special design of lovely doggy paw prints all over the polished wooden floors as I was chased from room to room – what great fun!

Today finds me stuck on the veranda once again and a lock connected to the doggy door, so I can’t jiggle the slider open and make my escape!

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m back today with news of the renovation. I’m still being confined to the veranda for fear that I will get into something I shouldn’t or find a way out of an unlocked gate. The only thing I have to look forward to is the end of the day is a  chicken dinner and a soft king size bed to sleep on at bed time. I’m bored fur-pals, but I have some tips for stimulating the senses -

• Chew – anything you can get your teeth around. Gives you something to do and guarantees to get you out of the immediate area.
• Bark – at anything and everything. Somebody is bound to complain and Mum will have to do something to shut you up.
• Whine – the more pitifully the better, make sure you can get eye contact through the screen door.
• Jump – as high as you can. You might make it over the partition and make a good getaway.

Until next time fur-pals…

Greeting fur-pals. Well, it’s a sunny day here on the island, and I’m still not getting the run of the house because of these pesky renovations. I have my own ways of getting that extra attention though -

• Cry pitifully at the back door, with an extra waver for good effect, someone is sure to feel sorry for you sooner or later.
• Develop a marked limp and hobble as much as you can. Don’t forget which foot it is, or you be marked as an exceptionally good faker, and not a desperately ill doggy in need of some affection.
• Tip over your water bowl and stand at the door with the empty bowl in your mouth. Dad will be branded as neglectful and uncaring, and Mum will carry you around for the rest of the day.
• Remember, patience is NOT a virtue…you will not be noticed for your good manners in these situations. Make sure you are as disruptive as possible…any attention is justified, and you have nothing to lose!!

Carry on fur-pals, and wish me luck in the trenches today…

Greetings fur-pals. Well, it’s renovation time around my house and there’s more workmen and dust than you can poke a stick at. I try to help out a bit by digging in the debri from the bathroom lying in the front yard – you never know what hidden treasures you may find. I found half a toile roll yesterday and was having a great time trailing it around the front fence before I was busted, and managed a quick escape through one of the workmen’s legs before I was rounded up by Mum and locked on the veranda for the rest of the day.

I will be glad when the renovations are over and I’m the only one causing mess and mayhem in this neck of the woods. Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m here once again with news from the home front. I’ve been kept indoors and on the veranda for the last few days – all because I peed on a few old curtains. Mum wasn’t happy and I was banished with water and a bit of chicken, with just an old lounge for company….oh, the suffering I go through.

The day has dawned bright and sunny and I have been busy meeting and greeting the workers as they have arrived to do the bathroom renovations. My meeting and greeting generally goes pretty well, and I’m usually the centre of attention, but today I’ve managed to get underfoot and in the way of some serious renovating merchandise, and once again I’ve been banished to the outskirts of the veranda.

Tip of the day today fur-pals…is not to endear yourself too much to strangers, and make sure you have an escape route planned as well as a neat place to hide in the event that you manage to trip someone up carrying a circular saw. The consequences could be more catrastophic than you could imagine…

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. It’s been raining today and I’m not terribly keen on getting my paws wet out there in the elements, so I’ve taken to finding neat places to relieve myself. Anything upright will do. Mum’s not terribly impressed about washing the ends of every curtain in the house, so I’ve been banned to the laundry again for a few hours of reflection.

Tip of the day today fur-pals is make sure your paws are dry when trying to make a decent getaway across a polished wooden floor. Slip factor and capture odds are quite high in the wet.

Unti next time…

Greeting fur-pals. I’m not my usual doggy self today..no indeed..I’ve had a haircut and I’m a bit traumatised by it all.  I usually go to the doggy groomers, which is an ordeal in itself, but at least I know what to expect. This time however, Mum and Dad have gotten hold of some whiz-bang-you-beaut…do-it-yourself doggy clippers, and are having a go at the washing, brushing, blow-drying and clipping routine themselves.

I can’t say that I’m happy about being the first doggy exercise in ‘learning as we go’ experiment. I feel a bit ripped off and a bit light in the rear end, as the new whiz-bang clippers have taken a bit more off than usual.

Just as well the weather is warm and I’m not too worried about looking like a shaved Chihauhau for a few weeks…

Greetings fur-pals. I’ve been out visiting the rellies again today and having a lovely time in the flower bed. I can’t say I was terribly impressed by the rose bushes and the prickly thorns in my nether-regions, but I had a marvellous dig in the compost until I was busted by Mum. I was just getting a good quality roll in, and basking in the delightful smells of rotting vegetables, when I was  shoved in the laundry before I had a chance  to transfer some of that marvellous ‘au de stench’ to my person.

All was forgotten however after a snack and chicken treat, and I was back out on the back porch and off for a quick dig before they could find me.

Until next time..

Greetings fur-pals. This week sees me looking fine and feeling fit as the weather warms up and everyone is out and about. I’ve been out and about too and around to the rellies place to stake my spot as resident barker and watching dog at the front gate. It’s amazing what a difference a different yard can make for your self esteem and bring back the balance in my doggy opportunities.

My tip of the day fur-pals, is make the most of your visitations to the rellies. You know that they love you and you can get away with a bit more when you’re there. Dig in the front yard, bark at passers-by with gusto..you may never see them again, roll on grandpa’s best sheepskin before he can put it out of your reach, inspect every room at random, and investigate the fridge for random treat opportunities. Stay safe fur-pals til next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m up to no good again today, and trying to stay ahead of Mum as I navigate the newly dug backyard. The backyard has been off limits since digging commence and the rain came, but I have been itching to find a way in – and I have managed to find an unsecured door.

I’ve been here for over an hour so far and nobody has missed me. I don’t know whether to be pleased by that, or put out that nobody cares. Mum probably thinks I’m snoozing on the front veranda. Maybe if I bark joyously while rolling in the rancid mess, somebody might notice….I’m my own worst enemy..

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’ve had an exciting day today. I’ve been out and about meeting and greeting and getting to know the locals at Mum’s friend’s bbq. I managed not to disgrace myself, although I was a bit put out that somebody else brought along their four-legged fur ball, and he was a lot bigger than me. I have a few tips for staying one step ahead the larger type k9 when you are short of stature, but big on attitude.

• Try to get in the first bark at a safe distance. Guage just how quickly the big guy can move and make sure you have an escape route.
• Make sure you get as close to the bbq as possible to get the best scraps. Get in quick and get out before your rival knows what you are doing and swallow the evidence as fast as possible. Remember, it’s survival of the fatest…sorry….fitest.
• Make sure you sit at a safe distance from your larger rival, but optimum points for scoring a pat from rival’s owner and getting to sit on many laps. Your larger rival is not likely to be invited to do this because of his size, so you have scored a massive ’10′ in the ‘one-upmanship’ doggy stakes.
• Don’t get too cocky and stop within snapping distance of the big guy, it’s always best to maintain one’s dignity by ‘strutting’ swiftly by…but keep going until you are back in your safe zone…ie..under Mum’s legs.

Unti next time….

Greetings fur-pals. It’s raining again and it’s good to be alive…I’ve discovered a giant mud hole in the front yard, and the delights of rolling and wallowing up to my furry neck in lovely slippery, sloshy brown stuff. I was having a pretty good time too, until Mum discovered my muddy meanderings, and chased me around the yard with the garden hose.

Don’t ask me why I enjoy a good slosh in the wet mud, but don’t enjoy a good spray with a garden hose, in the rain, …but  I don’t. I’m speaking to you from under the house, in the far corner under the box, where I’m hiding out until they either forget about me, or it’s dinner time.

It’ll be pretty hard to get past the sentry at the front door to reach my bowl, but a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals and fur co-conspirators. It’s been a wet and soggy day here on the island, and I’m feeling a bit wet and soggy myself after I managed to sneak outside and run through the big wet patch that they used to call a lawn a few days ago.

It wasn’t too bad for me. I managed to do a few laps with some eloquent doggy paddles for good measure, before I was busted and banished to the good old laundry for washing and drying purposes. By the time I get out of here the ducks will be in residence and the frogs will be up the drainpipes.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I’m back again with news from the dirt pile. Yes, that big lovely pile of dirt that’s been deposited in my front yard recently for my personal enjoyment, I suppose, because I don’t see anybody else putting their paws up to claim their share.

It’s been a real treat, fur-pals, to dig, roll, slide, run….and anything else that takes my fancy, in the shortest possible space of time before I’m discovered and sent to the doggy sin-bin.  Ah…the delights of feeling the dirt in my fur and rubbing those white areas all shades of grey in my pursuit of k-9 nirvana. 

I have some tips for maximum enjoyment for minimum time and effort -

• Take a flying leap – literally – into the pile of your choice. Make sure you spread out as you land, just in case you miss a spot, or a spot on anybody else within your proximity.
• Roll with abandon. Trust me on this one. You may never get another chance once discovered, so into the groove while you can.
• Dig, dig, and dig some more. The more frenzied the activity, the more chance you might find something of interest…like that bone you have been dreaming of.
• Don’t leave any of your doggy parts out. Develop techniques to suit your style for maximum coverage in minimal time.
• Slick exit technique will provide best chance of a good getaway and less probability of discovery until it’s too late or too cold to be shoved into the dreaded white tube of wet death.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. It’s good to be here this evening. I’ve managed to endear myself to the neighbours once again this week by getting out and barking at everything that moves. . . in the early hours of the morning. I am not the most popular fur-ball in the street at present. For the life of me I don’t know why…I’m just doing my job to keep everyone safe and alerting people to the present of those cursed Curloos that screech at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night. Worse noise than mine I might add…but nobody complains about them.

There’s nothing like a brisk patrol of the perimeters and setting off the alarm when I detect the prescence of anything larger than a knat. It pays to be diligent in my operations. You never know when it could be the real thing. My drills are a commonsense approach to maintaining a good standard of backup security whenever needed at whatever time of the day that is warranted. Not everyone agrees with on this issue, however, and I often find myself blackbanned and banished to the ‘cell’ (the laundry)..just when I’m hotting up.

Dogs of action get results. Unfortunately they are not always the results that are expected.

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m back from the groomers after running up and down underneath a newly stained outdoor setting that wasn’t quite dry. I had an orange and brown stripe, from the top of my head to the tip of my tail. I thought I looked pretty retro, but Mum thought I looked like a threat to her clean lounge, and I’ve been washed, dried, primped, poked and pushed around all over the doggy boutique salon.

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself by the end of it all, and I had a good wail going by the time Mum made it back to pick me up. Boy, I was glad to see her after my ordeal.

I only have one tip today…if you are going to rat-run underneath an oiled table, have spot to hide, in advance,  to avoid the consequences.

Greetings my many and varied fur-pals. I’m having a good day today and I haven’t managed to upset Mum too much. I have big plans for tomorrow though, as I have discovered an opening to the delights of the dirt underneath the house, in a quiet and under-patrolled corner of the garden.

I can imagine the trouble that I’m going to be in, but I just don’t care. As a duty to the fur-fraternity and all doggy-kind, I’m going for it!

My tip of the day? Plan accordingly, ahead, tactfully…and don’t get caught.

Greetings fur-pals. I’m feeling a little out of sorts today. I was left alone for most of the day while Mum went shopping, and now my dinner is late. I can’t seem to get Mum’s attention to let her know that I’m REALLY hungry and am going to expire at any second if I don’t get a small morsel from the fridge. If only she’d stop looking through the shopping bags and look at me.

I have a few tips, which I’m sure will eventually work once eye contact, to get the desired results -

• Stick as close as possible to Mum’s feet as possible. If she trips over you, she will notice you.
• If you get yelled at for the above, wear it, the strategy is working.
• Once you get yelled at, get out of the way and go directly to your food bowl, or your favourite food source, and look longingly at it.
• Try to get that all important eye contact going, or your chances of competing with the newest gadget or a lovely bit of haberdashery is minimal.
• Once you have exhausted all of your options, sit sorrowfully by your empty food bowl and howl loud and long. This is a last resort, but the most effective means of regaining some control of the situation and at last getting fed.

Until next week. If I am still here of course. I may have starved to death.

Greetings fur-pals. I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself this evening as I have just come back from visiting the vets. Yes fur-folks, those white-coated-needle-wielding, thermometer tapping stuff of your nightmares. Just when you are getting over the intrusion to your nether regions, you’re jabbed at the other end before you can get away. Is it any wonder it’s mandatory to flatten out like a sucker fish and pretend you are invisible once you are placed on the vets table.

Yes fur-pals. I got all hyped up when I saw my lead and harness today, and it was all for nought. I didn’t get the walk that I was anticipating, but I got more excitement than I bargained for – and was necessary, as far as I was concerned. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

My tip of the day fur-pals? Be careful out there. Anticipation may turn into desperation at any moment. Stay safe.

I’ve been out on the veranda today and it’s been an all out war with the dog in the next street in regards to who can bark the longest and the loudest. I’ve really been in my element today, and the barks were coming thick and fast. I was almost sorry to have to come inside for my evening meal…but a dog’s gotta eat.

I have some tips on how to get the upper hand on the neighbourhood would-be barking champion -

• Try to contain yourself and not bark while you oponent is, nobody will hear you, so it will be a non-event.
• As soon as there is a lull, get in as many yaps and barks as you can. Try for the occasional howl.
• Ten points another, less competitive dog, joins in.
• Twenty if you get the whole neighbourhood going.
• When you are sure that your opponent has had his last gasp at the end of the day, and his Mum has locked him inside, get out there and have the last word at the top of your lungs.
• Be aware that your last move may upset residents just settling down to their evening news, and that there may be repercussions.
• Get in early and eat your dinner before any of those repercussions occur..it could be a long night.

Until next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m speaking to you today from the confines of the laundry, where I have been evicted to for a couple of hours after my daring raid on the pantry was interrupted and foiled. I managed to get myself a couple of decent biscuits from the lower shelves and a few peanuts before I was discovered, and I have to say, the biscuits were more chewy than my usual fare – and a whole lot sweeter.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be out of here before bedtime, as Mum likes us fur-kids to sleep next to the bed so’s we don’t cry and keep her awake all night. And that’s my tip of the day, fur-pals – work on Mum’s weaknesses, remember them, and you will get most of the things you want, provided  you don’t get caught getting the other things you want as well.

Until next time fur-kids…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’ve been barking my head off today and running up and down the front veranda in an effort to ward off those pesky magpies that insist on coming into my yard and stealing anything edible that’s not nailed down. I do my best to intimidate those wannabe winged warriors, but they keep coming back into my territory and Mum’s taken to shutting the veranda gate in an effort to keep me confined to smaller perimeters so that the neighbours don’t put me in for noise pollution. Stops me from running around the front yard in a frenzy, but doesn’t stop me from vocalising my disapproval of the black and white food thieves when they dare to glide into my domain.

Hey! Those are my doggy dry bits! Keep your beaks to yourselves! I just left them there to be buried for future nibbles in case someone forgets to feed me…a dog can never be careful enough …

Until next time when I might have worked out a strategy to combat those feathered freaks on my own terms….

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m still feeling a bit dejected after being left at home alone for most of the day. What does Mum think I am? A dog or something? I like to have a little bit of company all day, everyday…if I can get it. I have become accustomed to having my humans around me, and when they go somewhere, they ought to think about how I would feel about getting left behind, or better still, consult me on the outing and find out what I would prefer!

I have a few tips on preventing being left behind in the future:

• Behave yourself as much as possible prior to the event. Everybody likes well behaved dogs, AND they get to go everywhere. This doesn’t mean that you have to keep up the good guy image ALL the time, especially if it doesn’t have a one hundred percent hit rate.
• Practice opening your eyes wide and lowering your head while looking at your human. This gives the appearance of being ‘hang-dog’ and often as a result, your human will feel sorry for you and let you come.
• Follow as closely as you can for at least a half an hour before you suspect the event is going to take place. They can’t forget you if you are constantly in sight.
• Whine a little as you follow them around. Adding a little shudder and a sigh a the end of each whine is pathetic, but it works a treat to get some much needed sympathy.
• Howl and cry at the front window. Try to make as much noise as you can. Once your human looks up to the window use your ‘hang-dog’ expression and try to press your paws onto the glass for good effect.
• If your humans leave you behind after all this, run around the house for appoximately two or more hours, howling and whining as much as you can. Your humans will hear about this when they get home from their less than impressed neighbours, and may decide to take you with them next time to avoid unpleasant confrontations.

Until next time….

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m speaking to you from the front veranda, where I am sunning myself on Mum’s super large beanbag. It’s a good spot because it’s comfortable, warm, and high…so I can see over the veranda and bark at anything that goes past in my best guard-dog voice.

My tip of the day is not to get too comfortable in super large beanbag, because basically I am not supposed to be in it, and I have to remain on high alert for all possibilities that involve getting busted and booted off unceremoniously. My advice is to pick your moment carefully and wait until just after Mum goes out..this should give you at least two hours of hassle-free comfort, and allow you to bark your head off without recrimination.

Until next time…

Greetings fur-pals. I was included on the family outing today down to the local beach where they were having a festival and market day. There were all sorts of people there, and more dogs than you could throw a stick at.  I was in doggy heaven. I didn’t know who to bark at first. Of course I selected carefully and only barked at dogs that I thought I could handle, while discreetly growling from a safe distance at the German Shepherd and the Blue Heeler. I know my breeds…and how much I can get away with.

I have a few tips on the local dogs and what behaviour I would anticipate to be appropriate under the circumstances.  All the following transactions are made outside of the confines of my yard, and therefore away from the safety perimeter and the ‘bark at anything that moves’ approach…read on…

• the maltese two doors down – he barks a lot, but he’s all talk.  I approach by pulling madly at my lead while barking at a rapid rate. He will know I mean business and not try to out-bark or stand over me. Remember..short dog syndrome.
• The two Pomeranian’s at the end of the street – they like to operate together, but they are both ladies, and enjoy a good gossip and a flirt. They are generally happy to see me, but you can’t get a word in, so I let them bark while I do the sniffing.
• The Silky in the next street – we are regular visitors, so there’s a lot of barking and sniffing going on, but nothing to worry about really, until she remembers she’s the alpha female of her domain and tries to pull the rug out from underneath my stealth-like domination procedures.
• The two Labradors in the next block – I like to observe and hide behind Mum’s legs with my tail between my legs, just in case. One is just a sniffer, but the other one is a nipper, so the order of the day is to exit with as much bravado as I can muster to redeem myself by chasing the cat accross the road.
• The blue heeler two blocks away – learn the route and avoid at all costs. Walk fast and keep head down.

Til next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I write to you today from beneath a large blanket with my doggy coat on, as I have just come back from the groomers, and in my personal opinion, I think they have overdone the ‘cut and style’ and progressed to a ‘short back and sides’. As a consequence, I’m freezing what’s left of my tail off and staying indoors until I regrow some body hair, and retain my dignity. My tip of the day is to whinge as much as possible, so that you get a bit of sympathy over your ‘horrible ordeal’ at the groomers, and bury yourself further into the blanket. Make sure you don’t even look excited when you hear the fridge door open, and Mum will really think you have the blues, and fuss over you even more. A word of caution - don’t overdo the ‘hang-doggedness’ in front of Dad. He won’t buy it, and will be completely unsympathetic to your plight. You might even find yourself outside seeking warmth from the sun’s rays in the corner of the yard. A tragedy in the making if there ever was.

Greetings fellow fur-pals. For once, I have been behaving myself. I haven’t been digging in the yard for the last few days, as it’s been too cold and I’ve been more inclined to recline on the lounge, like my lazy fur-companion, Ruby, does at ANYTIME she gets the chance.

I’ve discovered the benefits of chilling out for a few days. Mum and Dad have been taking me for extra walks and letting me run on the beach in an effort to wear me out – and I think its working. There’s nothing like charging up and down in the sand at breakneck speed and digging big holes when chasing crabs. I’m so tired when I get home, I have to be woken up to go to bed.

Til the next adventure….

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m back again with some advice on how to get on the bed at night without getting kicked off onto my own bed on the floor:

• Wait for Mum and Dad to go to sleep before attempting your first jump.
• If you get impatient and don’t wait until everyone is asleep, you are in for a BIG surprise. Make sure you are familiar with the next door neighbour’s cat’s techniques for landing on his feet after being bounced into the air.
• When jumping, try not to go too high. The higher you jump the bigger the thud on the bed – guaranteed to wake everybody up. You will get yelled at, and instantly ejected.
• After successful attempt, stay in position for at least five minutes. Do not move and draw attention to yourself.
• After you are sure that your mission is successful, you may creep into a comfortable position.
• Try not to snore or yap in your sleep. Once again – instant ejection.
• Get into the above ‘good’ habits, and you will be invited back on special occasions, which will eventually become a habit.
• Good luck!

Til next time…

Greetings fellow fur-pals. Today I have been subjected to a new winter coat. Mum thinks that it’s cold enough here in Brisbane to warrant a fur lined, water proof padded number, complete with hoody – for my creature comfort.

I can’t say I’m impressed and have tried all sorts of things to get it off me:

• Running around the front yard in a frenzy, then dropping to the ground and rolling furiously. It shifts it a little, but then I look like the masked marauder and can’t see as the thing falls over my face and I’m in a blind panic because it’s dark.
• Biting at the velcro tabs underneath the coat. Have you ever tried chewing on velcro? Beward of the sticky bits.
• Catching the hoody on a protruding nail and pulling the other way. I ended up stuck there for two hours before anybody noticed my howling. I have learned that velcro is a lot stronger than the most desperate of dogs.
• Rolling over and waving my legs in the air, in the hope that somebody would release me from my velcro-bound prison.
• Rolling in a big lump of doggy poo, so it has to be taken off me and washed. This is the most effective measure, and if you do it often enough, you can be assured that the act of removing the offensive material, washing and drying will become so mundane that you will be jacket-free in no time. I’m still trying.

Til next time….

Greeting fellow fur-pals. I’m back once again, now that I’m back in the house, with information on doggy fluffing. Yes folks, even dogs fluff, moreso after you’ve had a chicken dinner with a few veges thrown in for a more aromatic after burn.

I have learned, over the last two years of my life, what to do once you have ‘let go’, so to speak:

• Lie still, and pretend that nothing is going on that you know about.
• Sniff the air casually to test the potency and effect of your latest expellation.
• If nobody notices, you are ok, you won’t have to move.
• If those around you start to look uncomfortable and wave newspapers in the air, stand your ground and remain nonchalant.
• If people start looking in your general direction and waving the newspaper at YOU, it’s time to leave. Self preservation is important in these circumstances, and it’s every dog for himself.
• Wait the required time frame, and creep back slowly into your position.
• Try to look bewildered, and sorry for yourself. It’s not your fault that you had to let go. It was theirs for feeding you.
• Above all, keep your dignity. Nobody likes a doginski, even if it wasn’t you, creep off with the rest of them. Keep a united front and keep ‘em guessing!

Until next time….

Greetings fellow fur-pals. I’m back from my recent outdoor adventure. I’ve made a name for myself around these parts as being an escape artist, although I’ve been called a few other things in passing, especially if I’m the cause of an effect. I’ve got no reports on any new missions under the fence, as I have been confined to one room of the house, with bathroom priveleges and breakfast and dinner included. Not much of a package when you are a prisoner, but beggars can’t be choosers, and it could be worse. I could be the Doberman up the road with the bad tail job and three legs.

There’s been a lot of hammering and grinding going on around the place, mostly outside in the vicinity of the perimetres. I can only assume it has something to do with the fence – and me, as Dad looks in on me occasionally and waves his hammer at me. I’m hoping that the changes are not too serious, or I may have to go back to chair bouncing and lounge surfing to keep myself  amused. Hardly the sports of an intrepid action fur-ball. Stay tuned.

Greetings fur-pals. I’m on the run this evening and hiding out in the next door neighbours shed, after being spotted digging up his rosebed in the front yard. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be as happy as Mum if he finds me, so for now I’m keeping my tail well and truly down until he disappears.  Tips for the intrepid dog explorer to live by:

• Make sure you have a meal before you head for the great outdoors, or at least a light snack. You might not be lucky enough to score a nice pastry dish on the front porch like I was, so be prepared.
• Get that hole dug in the daytime, and only leave a little for the evening operation escape. You don’t want to come up against any unexpected obstacles, like a large brick blocking your way on the other side.
• Do your homework and make sure you know which dogs are locked up at night and which aren’t. You could be digging into a boobytrapped backyard, complete with not so friendly ‘happy to see you’ Rottweiler.
• Above all have fun, explore as many of your options as possible.
• Don’t forget the way back. You don’t want to miss lights out, or a nice comfy bed.

Signing off for now, to avoid capture.

Greetings fellow fur-pals. Today I have discovered the delights of ‘chair bouncing.’ Admittedly, I’m probably the only one delighted at the prospect of  bouncing up and down on a rather large air-filled chair-bag-of-air, but quite frankly, I don’t care what anybody else thinks.

Recently Mum acquired a large air filled, bean-bag like contraption from some kind soul who said she could use some relaxation on the veranda. I’m not sure what that meant, but I have an idea I was being referred to at the time. It was not long before my curiosity got the better of me, and there I was, free-bouncing all over the chair and the veranda. My tip of the day is not to get caught, because free-bouncing is not for anyone in this household that sports claws or a sharp beak, and it could result in banishment to the backyard for more than a few hours.

Greetings fellow fur-adventurers. I have exceeded myself in bad behaviour recently, which from my point of view is not bad behaviour, it’s fun – but from Mum’s point of view it’s just plain naughty.

I have found a dirt patch that works well in wet or dry weather. It’s great fun to roll around in for a few minutes, just to see how black white can end up. As I am white, or was – I have to say, if I had pointy ears, I would have looked like a Scottish Terrier. 

I was designated to the big white tub once again. The best part of that bad scenario is that Ruby had to have a go in the big white tub too. No point in having one fluffy clean dog and one unwashed one, is there?

Nobody is talking to me right now.

Greetings fellow fur-kids. I’ve been helping out with the gardening today and I’m feeling a little tired. I have a few tips for those garden fur-weed-warriors amongst us for future reference:

• Above all things, maintain a sense of independence when digging, especially when Dad expresses concern about your level of activity at the garden fence.
• Independence involves digging anywhere you please, regardless of being chased around the backyard with a shovel.
• Try to look interested enough when observing Dad’s activities, then wait until you are not being observed before undertaking stealth digging operations.
• Keep a wary eye out for garden intruders while planning and implementing your tunnel into the neighbours backyard. The cat next door could have a hidden agenda.
• Make sure you are digging under the fence, and not the fence post. Concrete is a great nail file, but not congruent to tunnelling schematics.
• Have a refreshment break, but don’t go too far. Chances are Dad will have filled and barracaded escape route before you return.
• Have a backup plan. There’s always tomorrow.

Greetings fellow fur-pals. It’s digging season again. The gardens have been weeded and fertilised. All sorts of lovely aromas are permeating the air around me. I found a couple of rotting carrots and some rancid old corn cobs just waiting to be knawed on for an hour or two on the front veranda. All was going well until Mum discovered my cache and decreed that ‘aroma of Angus’ wasn’t the top shelf stuff that I’d like it to be at the perfumery down town.

I’ve been packed off to the big white tub again.

Greetings fellow fur-ball lounge surfers. As I’ve been racking up a few hours of bad behaviour this week, I’m in the doghouse once again and confined to the outer limits of the veranda for an hour or two a day.  This works well in theory, as I settle down for a while, but folks, a bored dog is a definite threat to the equilibrium of the household, that’s for sure. And I’m your average bored dog. Still, my cuteness and capacity to roll over and wave my cute paws in the air for sympathy has the power to soften even the hardest disciplinarian. I’ll be back in the house in no time, where I’ll be plotting my next seek and destroy mission. My tip for the hardy housebound harridan is to look cute under any circumstance – it works for me.

Greeting fellow fur-pals. Guess what? I found my tail today. It was interesting, but difficult to catch, and when I did, I lost interest. Talk about a waste of time. Something that isn’t a waste of my time is a good bone, however. When I can get my share from that fat fur-ball Ruby. Today I am posting my rules of good behaviour when eating bones in company:

• Always establish your spot early, or a greedy gutz will get that one too and steal your bone.
• Growl menacingly when a prosective bone-thief gets within two feet of your stash.
• If you can’t manage a growl, at least raise your top lip.
• Be alert for any diversions – if prospective bone thief barks at anything, don’t go off to investigate – chances are you won’t have a bone when you come back.
• Eat fast. Get as much off that bone as quickly as possible, therefore taking the victory out of any successful stealth operation.
• Be on the lookout for opportunity. You never know when you could become a successful bone-thief yourself.

Greetings fellow paw-pals. It’s raining outside and I’m bored. While I like running around in the sunshine, digging, rolling in stuff and giving the postman a hard time, when it’s raining the object of my day is to stay inside and try not to get my paws wet. I have a few tips in getting around in the advent of some precipitation:

• Try to find a nice dry spot on the outside of the house to do your business, a nice big veranda or porch is ideal – hang the consequences.
• Can’t find any of the above? A covert operation may be necessary on the inside of the house, preferrably a dark corner where you can’t be spotted.
• If you must go outside – in my case being pushed down the front stairs with a broom being waved at my person, then stick to the concrete and any sheltered spots that you can find.
• Try hopping from one piece of concrete to another. Wet concrete absorbs water so much better than wet grass and doesn’t get between your toes.
• Stay on the concrete while backing up to the grass for the necessities, then hightail it inside.
• Don’t forget to shake WELL right in front of your person to make sure that THEY know how wet it is outside too.

Greetings fellow fur-busters. News of the day…I’m bored. Or at least I was until I found a neat feather pillow and had a great time ripping it up and spreading all those lovely feathers through the house. It was like Christmas in Autumn, at least on the inside of the house anyways. Mum wasn’t impressed and I was confined to the veranda while she got out some more of those books and starting googling ‘bored bad dogs behaviour’ online.

Now I’m only half bored, which is a start. I get different toys to play with and a few more walks to liven up the neighbourhood.  I’ve also been given a strange round thing that I chase about. It has food in it, and when I can get to it…is quite tasty. Better than chasing feathers! I’m also learning how to fetch, and actually bring back, instead of running away and hiding the booty once in my possession. The game lasts a lot longer and I’m getting more attention, which of course, is my ultimate goal.

Are my days of bad behaviour over? I don’t think so. Angus J baddog has a reputation to uphold.

Greetings fellow fur-co-consipirators. I have once again managed to upset Mum in my own special doggy way that is so endearing. Which brings me to my topic of discussion today. Should I be left alone in the house, and what psychological effect does it have on my furs-sonality? In two words ‘no’ I shouldn’t be alone, and ‘none’….I’m perfectly normal. Just because I pee anywhere I can just to let them know that I’m, well…peed off for being abandoned doesn’t mean I have issues. I’m cornering the market on guilt trips and the stocks are rising.  Mum’s not playing the game though lately and has taken to spraying some nasty smelly stuff around my favourite pee spots, which is reasonably effective, I will admit. One for Mum, zero for the fur-hero. To be continued..

Greetings fellow armchair accessories. Today I want to speak to you about the art of getting fed on time. As dinner is the most important meal of the day (to me anyway) I would like my humans to know how important it is too. I have tried a number of tactics, and the following seem to work best:

• Sitting on the exact spot that your plate goes, looking longingly up at the kitchen bench.
• Standing in front of the fridge, sniffing around its corners and whining a little (this of course depends on whether your food is kept in the cupboard or the fridge. If in the cupboard, then adopt this stance there).
• Sitting in front of your human if they are watching the television and patting your paw onto their foot to gain their attention.
• The above tactic only works if you are tenacious to stick to it for a LONG time. Be patient, your human will either get sick of it and concede or get the message and get your dinner.
• Jump up and down in your human’s line of vision as much as you can. Once you have their attention, direct them to your nearest food source.
• Lie next to your empty food bowl and groan pathetically for a while. You will either be given your food or taken to the vet.
• Try to be nice about it, nobody likes a cranky food scrounger.

If of course, all else fails, find a shoe to chew on to stave off those hunger pangs.

Greetings fellow paw-pals. I have discovered that barking at everything that moves is not as mutually satisfying as it used to be.  ‘Mutally’ meaning Mum does not think that running up and down the front fence making a lot of noise is as cute as it was when I was four months old, and is chasing me around spraying me with a water bottle.  Now its….bark, hide behind a tree…….bark, hide under the house. It’s exhausting. And not nearly as much fun. Tip of the day, find something else to test the boundaries without getting wet.

Greetings from my couch. Seriously, I’ve had a busy day driving in the car and driving mum up the wall..apparently. I have invented a new set of road rules for dogs of action to live by…

• Bark at anything that moves. 5 points if it runs.
• Run from one side of the back seat to the other, 2 points if you can push the other dog off the seat.
• Running only works if you are not strapped in, lose 3 points if buckled up.
• Try to get into the front passenger seat for 3 points, 10 if succeed in sitting on Mum’s lap.
• Try to look extra cute at the drive through and wag your tail. 5 points if you get a freebie.
• Cry pathetically when you see a park. 15 points if Mum stops the car and you manage to escape and find something good to roll in before you get caught.
• Perfect that sorrowful look when yelled at for another 10 points.